Jealousy.

Jealousy... I have never understood exactly why people become jealous in some situations. I understand sometimes it is a sweet thing and shows you care or someone else cares about you. But as a once very trusting person I was never jealous of my friend or boyfriend talking or having friends outside of me and my group of friends. Until i got hurt once and then again and then as I learned to trust again i got hurt again. But what I do not understand is someone throwing a full blown tantrum over myself and my closest friend going out to have a "girl's day" or no boys allowed day.

When someone in a relationship or an ended relationship is jealous of someones friend it becomes a problem when this person blows up both parties phones and won't stop until we have to leave dinner to go get said person or I am forced to bring my friend home because he will not stop! They are soon to be divorced, I pray. And even separated if we go out he will not give us peace, even once going so far as to finding us just to yell at my friend in a public place and when i turn to defend my friend he curses me out.

This kind of jealousy is a bad form and tricky to control it is why i feel this person has no friends, as much as he says "I don't care" or "whatever" it hurts him to know this problem and this neediness causes him to chase away all his friends and his soon to be ex wife's friends, I tolerate him for her because of the situation she is forced to tolerate him in return and I know my friend has dealt with a lot of things for me. This persons neediness runs into the lines of stalkerish and the second he is rejected he will text and call and text and call until you respond. I have no returned a text or a Battle.net tell and he is now currently calling me because I won't get on World of Warcraft for him. This is the line that should't never be crossed. An hour ago he was attacking me for taking my friend out and not inviting him to go out with us.

Jealousy is a trick emotion and when paired with neediness and possible Boarderline Personality disorder it is disastrous.

I'm not saying I've never been jealous, I have, but there have been times where I have in past relationships tried to hide it and seem like the "cool unjealous girlfriend" and that did not end well and now I know if I had shown that some of the things that happened made me jealous or uncomfortable maybe things would not have ended as badly or maybe not at all. I know now to speak my mind and tell people when i feel taken advantage or even jealous or a situation or a growing friendship and sometimes its just my own paranoia over losing friends so often or being used so much. My track record with friends has never been good I have always been too trusting and too willing to please and so most of the time people try to use that to get things from me. But now I know I have one true friend that i can trust and tell when i feel jealous of something or even used...

But I have never crossed the line into that creepy stalker area.

*Kira*